Am I Next?
by Wild Growlithe
Summary: After all of the pokemon Ash has released, one of his pokemon begins to wonder.....


A/N: This one's gonna be a little different from my usual fics. No brock-bashing or romance... this is just a short story from a little pokemon's point of view. I thought it up and wrote it really quickly, so forgive me if it's not that great. Enough talking and start reading! Now!

I watched painfully as the motorcycle drove off into the distance, one of my closest and only friends on board. I may never see him again. Though I acted like it didn't mean much to me whether he stayed or left, inside I was truly going to miss him. We'd been through so much together. Such good friends. Now he's gone....to a better life? I don't know.

Every time Ash released one of his pokemon we all assumed that they were off to a better life. Even thought they'd made it more than clear that their lives were perfectly happy with him, he still must believe that they'd be better off where ever they are now. I remember the first time he released a pokemon. When he sent Butterfree off to mate and have children, he knew that it was truly the right thing to do. I wasn't there when it actually happened, but Pikachu told me the details later. I hadn't known Butterfree for very long, but I was happy that he had found a mate and a good life. But later I saw the pain Ash went through after saying goodbye to his first caught pokemon, the tears in his eyes and his sudden silence around the others, and I wondered if it was what he truly wanted....

I had never gotten too attached to Primape or Lapras either. In fact, I'd hardly even had the chance to meet them. His reasons for letting them go were right as well, but there is still doubt in my mind as to whether they would have been happier with him. Primape had finally learned to trust Ash, and didn't know the man who he had been given to at all. The man said he'd make him into a champion... but didn't Ash see that he already was?

It's true that Lapras was happy to be reunited with her mother, but she loved Ash as well. Maybe it was time for her to move on and live her life as a human trained pokemon...but I suppose being with one's family is more important.

Pidgeot was one of Ash's most loyal pokemon, along with Pikachu, Squirtle, and myself. When I learned that he had released her as well, I was shocked. The reason seemed understandable, but wouldn't Pidgeot be better off getting stronger with Ash than fighting off a fearow to defend a Pidgey flock? Shouldn't those Pidgey and Pidgeotto learn to defend themselves? If they have a big strong pokemon protecting them all the time, they'll never grow stronger.... but that's just my opinion. I wasn't very close with Pidgeot anyway. It's not easy for me to become close with someone. Often when I have, I've been separated from them. Melanie...Oddish.....and now....

Though I wanted to avoid it, Squirtle and I had become good friends, especially after working together so much. Before he evolved, Charmander had been just as close to us. We were a perfect team. Grass, Fire, and Water. A stubborn serious fighter, an innocent but brave friend, and a rowdy "ex-criminal". After Charmander evolved, his innocence was lost. His disloyalty to Ash and negative attitude pushed him away from Squirtle and I. We didn't talk much after that, even after he started listening to Ash again. The day he was released was a very sad one for everyone. Again, I saw that Ash was going through great pain. He had cried himself to sleep that night. And again, I wondered, was this really the best thing for either one of them? Charizard was faithful to Ash again. He had realized what a caring and truly gifted trainer Ash was. If he had just realized this, then why did he leave him like that? Why did Ash leave one of his best pokemon with a total stranger? Charizard could've become just as strong as those other Charizard in the valley if he had stayed with Ash. In my opinion, it would have been better for both of them if Charizard had stayed. So why did they both choose to be apart? I don't know. It all seemed rather foolish to me. Squirtle and I both talked about our friend's departure. We hadn't been all to close to him since he'd changed, but we still knew that inside of him was still that sweet and brave little Charmander who had been our friend, and we would miss him.

Charizard's departure was a sad one, but at least I still had Squirtle around. Then came that day.....

I watched him drive off for a new life with old friends. Perhaps it was the life he was meant to have. He had said goodbye to me, and at first I had considered not saying anything to him. I was angry and sad that he was leaving. I also disapproved of his decision. Was I the only one besides Pikachu who would stay loyal to Ash? But I remembered that despite all of my feelings, he was my friend. So I extended my vine to him, as a goodbye and a sign of our friendship. I showed very little of my feelings about his leaving, if any at all. I'm not a very emotional pokemon. But as the motorcycle finally disappeared out of sight, I felt as if tears were coming to my eyes. Who would I battle together with? Who would I talk to? Sure Pikachu was a very understanding guy, but I just couldn't communicate as well with him as I did with Squirtle. Chikorita didn't seem to enjoy being around anyone but Ash, and Cyndaquil was still a little shy. (and there was no _way_ I was going near that heracross again!) Besides, none of them were as close to me as Squirtle had been. We had been very different, he was laid back and always fooling around, and I was serious and didn't know how to take a joke very well. Maybe our differences were the reason why we got along so well. But it doesn't matter. He's gone now, and we'll probably never see one another again. 

I want to be angry at Ash. I want to smack him across the face with a razor leaf, yell at him for his foolish actions, whether he understands me or not. Right now I want to hate him for sending Squirtle off with that police woman. But I can't. I can't hate Ash, who has been so kind and supportive of me. He's the one who raised me to be as strong as I am. The one who takes care of me, believes in me, and would give his life for me if he needed to. When I refused to evolve, Ash stood by me and supported my decision. I know that so many other trainers would not have done that. I cannot hate Ash, he means too much to me. But don't we all feel the same way about him? Didn't all the others who he released? Didn't he feel the same about them? About me? He did, yet he still released them....and besides Pikachu, I am the only one of his original pokemon left. He would never release Pikachu. He tried once, and Pikachu was the only one bold enough to refuse our trainer's wish. So what will happen now? Am I next? What if one of my old friends returns, or we come across a "special" place for my kind to train and become stronger? What if we find a herd of pokemon that needs my protection? He already has another grass pokemon, so he won't be losing anything by releasing me. Except a friend....

I don't want to leave! I was happy with my old life at the village, but even happier here with this life. I don't want to give it up like I gave up my life at the village. I refuse! I will stay with Ash no matter what happens! But what if he wants me to go...will I be able to refuse his orders? I've always been loyal to Ash and I've always done as he commands.... but what if he commands me to leave him? Am I really able to say no to a trainer that means so much to me? None of the others were....but I'm not like them. I'm strong. I will stay by Ash, I will fight for him, win for him, and be there as his friend. It's like my decision to evolve or not. It's my decision, and mine alone. I just hope that I'll make the right decision.

Still, looking down the now empty road where my friend disappeared from my life, it's hard to choose what the right decision will be.

That's the end! Tell me if ya liked it. Like I said, I didn't spend too much time thinkin' or writing when I did this one. But when the idea came to me, I felt like I just had to write it down. Did that ever happen to any of you out there? Besides, I really like Bulbasaur. He's so cute and I love his personality. (at least when they show that he has one.) Not to mention Bulbasaur was the first pokemon I ever had! 


End file.
